A Moment in Time - Mentor Text

This was written by Molly Brice last year. Notice how all the actions takes place over a few seconds. Notice how her  emotions are felt through her words, especially  at the end of the piece. Notice the variety of advanced subjects she integrated  into her work.  Notice how her title closes her piece at the end...

Life by the Sea

By: Molly

The old wooden boats laid across the Neuse River as if to say, “I’m ready, please sail me.” I felt alone staring at these wonderful treasures. Walking across Seafarer’s wooden paved dock, I pushed off the ground and landed in the white benches of the sunfish. My eyes looked up at the crowded boat with all my friends in it, and I absorbed the dazzling clear water that lay all around the white sailboat. The sun beat down on my face as we began to prepare the timeless sail for our journey. A vivid orange life protector hugged my chest as I gazed out of the worn down face of the boat. I looked up and before my eyes was the never endless, stunning river that felt almost too exquisite to be real. I was awakened by the sound of roaring engines as the motorboats took off; the relaxed, calm feeling I had once felt was being vanished by the thunderous noises.

Our sailboat began to move slowly past the wondrous waters as I felt anxious about the journey ahead. Moving in the old white sunfish, I was mesmerized. Each time the boat took another step forward, I felt like I was drifting away to the heavens on a white and fluffy cloud. As the boat pushed past all of the waves and the wind in my face, I began to feel more at home. The things I missed about my parents faded away with the calmness of the Lake Neuse. The missing piece of the puzzle at Camp Seafarer was closed and now the adventure had truly started. I soon retrieved the soothing vibe I had before I had climbed on the sunfish. My fellow campers and I touched the beauteous waters as we glided past the camp and into the breathtaking river.


The staggering waters were contagious, and I was a girl caught with the disease. Gliding back to the camp site, I began to think more about the Neuse river. To some it was no more fascinating then a math lesson, but to me it was one of the Earth’s true beauties. Drifting away in the sunfish, fascination over came me. The beautiful river made me realize life is not what is coming next, but to enjoy the present timing’s little treasures. Why doesn’t everyone live in the soothing and adventurous way I do? When I think back to that long sail ride, a smile spreads across my face and know that I know how to live. I flow with the tide and enjoy life by the sea!