By Guaruv and Kenndy (8 1/2)
Whirling winds outside the open window came and ribbed their skin like sandpaper. The florescent moon shimmered and reflected on the buildings class windows and below. On top of the hill, Jack and Jane gazed down at the town that seemed to have neen torn to shreds. The happiness that had once gazed over their faces had disappeared like a lion devouring its meal. In the course of two seconds, their mother had fallen and rolled down into the dark deceiving pond at the clang of midnight. Like angels in the sky, the stars glowed as Jack and jane were greeted with another gale of wind.
Whirling winds outside the open window came and ribbed their skin like sandpaper. The florescent moon shimmered and reflected on the buildings class windows and below. On top of the hill, Jack and Jane gazed down at the town that seemed to have neen torn to shreds. The happiness that had once gazed over their faces had disappeared like a lion devouring its meal. In the course of two seconds, their mother had fallen and rolled down into the dark deceiving pond at the clang of midnight. Like angels in the sky, the stars glowed as Jack and jane were greeted with another gale of wind.
By Eliza and Mary Selwyn (8)
As I glance out of the window. the moon's gleem caught my eye. The pine tree's scent lingered in the air from the mountian around the moon. Standing out from all the other buildings was the church's mosaic window glowing from the light of the stars. My window swayed back and forth from the wind of the night. The old oak tree in the front of my window was almost gone from the various years it has lived. My happiness shined out like the stars as a smile spread across my face. Contented, I closed my window and headed back into my dreams. (For dramatic effect and to close the story where it began - I added the last sentence)
46 comments:
Mr. Buxton, in my narrative, I am having a person reading a story. Her reading it is dialogue. CAn I do that???
Mr. Buxton,
for the narritive, my famous person is telling the story.... so would that be counted as diailouge???
thanks
Mr.Buxton, do you only make half of your narative?
and will you give us a study sheet for the test Fri.?
thomas, you need to do AT LEAST half of it. yo can do more if you want.
Is the only homework we have math and our rough draft???
yes martha wright,
except we NEED AT LEAST HALF OF THE RUFF DRAFT but we can move forward if we want to.
thank you lauren i just wanted to make sure
Does some have to tell the story? I am confused.
someone
on our cards for our narrative, do we do bullet point notes or complete paragraphs?THANKS-abby
Abby, i think you do whole paragraphs
do you do your narative on the cards or on a sheet of paper?
Adit, someone NEEDS to tell te story and be sure it is CLEAR WHO IT IS.
Hey Guys, this is my narritive so far....
Can you comment on it and tell me if it is good, bad,and if there is anything i should change.
thanks
George Washington Carver
“Education is the key to unlock the golden door.” - George Washington Carver. “I remember that very same day when I said that quote, I had took an amazing journey through that time and I am glad to share that with you” “It was spring 1915 in Tuskegee Alabama, as I remember it. I was sitting on my white, wooden front porch gazing out into the clear glass sky wondering how my neighbor and best friend was doing. James’s house was a brown-brick with a huge plantation, while my house was a white wooden and no plantation. I had to get inside soon so that I could get ready for supper, but now I got a break from my job as a scientist and got to enjoy the out doors for once. Looking around, I see James coming up my never ending drive way. He looks very frustrated, and upset about something. I wondered what it could be, but little did I know that his frustration could lead to something big that would impact us all.
“What is it James? I said. “You’ll never believe this George, my cotton is making my soil dry and now i can’t plant any plants until the soil gets moist again!” Well, considering that I did not have a plantation, this occurred to me as funny. “Wow, you are really funny!” I laughed. Not only was James mad at me for not believing him, but also he wanted me to help him fix the problem since i was a scientist! I was as mad as a kid who got a F on a test. There was no way that I was going to help him! That same afternoon, while I was getting supper ready, I got a message from my friend, Laura. She said that she was having problems with her cotton and that her neighbors were having the same problem too! This had gone too far, I had to save my friends crops and fields! And if i didn’t do it quick, they might loose all of there money and I do not want that to happen.Later that night, I had finished eating dinner and I had started to work on ideas, but the way I was taking was a windy road and I hoped that my friends could survive for that period of time.
August, 1942 Tuskegee, Alabama.
“James James!” I shouted as I ran out of my beautifully painted house. I had successfully completed the ideas for saving the fields, and there were 300 ways to use the item that would save the crops! I felt like a genius thinking of using peanuts! “ Are you telling me that you out of all people you thought of an idea to save my crops?” I nodded my head yes like a toddler that was getting bumped up and down by there mother and James jumped up and down like a little kid after they have successfully climbed a tree. I told James my idea about using peanuts and his face lit of joy went to a look of sadness. He told me that I was stupid for thinking that peanuts would work and this time , he laughed. That night I was so mad that I decided to prove my theory and prove James wrong.
Lauren, good so far,
don't do too much dialogue
don't repeat the same words in the same sentence
otherwise great job
my story is told by a girl who watched the first flight
is that ok?
-Eliza
yes Eliza, and what is the dialogue people are talking about?
this is what i have so far
Ok class are you all sitting comfortably? Good then I will begin the story.
One cold winters night on December 8, 1765 the slopes of Westboro’ Massachusetts were as white as snow. In a little 3story home that sits merrily in the frozen brush a child was born they called him Eli Whitney. Eli Whitney grew up to be a strong boy and showed interest in machinery. Infact-yes Elli,” that man sounds very interesting” well he was very interesting. If this part makes your eyes open wide listen to the next bit.
people talking in the story like "hi," said Jewels
does that make sense
THomas the comment i have above is dialogue
here is mine so far
i have barely started
Wright Brothers
“The airplane stays up because it doesn’t have time to fall” - The Wright Brothers. On December 16, 1903, I learned about the Wright Brothers. The way my parents and the newspaper described them was crazy lunatics waisting their time on building a figure that can fly, but my teacher thought of them as wonderful inventors. Ms. Baker, my teacher, loved inventions so did my best friend, Patrick. He was great at building things. I am very outgoing says my mother, and a great listener says my pa. Learning about the........ this is where i ended
mr buxton, are you going to set up a voice thread?
ELiza
oh, OK thanks Eliza
your welcome
another dialogue: "Did you do your homework?" asked Mr. Buxton.
no to both of you. dialgue is multiple people speakng back and forth. The test. Are your verbs in past tense? If they are, then you are in a narrative
study sheet is on the back of your subjects and predicates booklet
Abbey - cards should be in paragraph form
Lauren - remove your speech marks.
Write in narrative form
e.g.“You’ll never believe this George, my cotton is making my soil dry and now i can’t plant any plants until the soil gets moist again!”
He reported to me that te cotton was making his fields dry. etc...
You have a few too many 'I'
Does our narritive have to be in bast tense?
past
Charlie, mine is in present tense but i'm not sure
i think its supposed to be past tense
thats what mr buxton told me or its not a narrative
ELiza
This is what I have so far.
~Hi, my name is Thomas Egues, and I was a crew member aboard the Clermont, the first ever steamboat invented by Robert Fulton. We pushed off from the dock when people were standing on the dock shouted, “Fulton’s Folly! Fulton’s Folly!” They didn’t think we were going to make it to Albany. One teenager who really wanted to come jumped from the dock, desperately trying to make it onto the boat. He missed and fell into the Hudson River. When his head bobbed up, everybody there realized how much the river was like a trash dump. We soon lost sight of the dock. We were one our way.
that is good charlie
Eliza
Which Charlie is making these comments? The piece of writing is very good! One thing, u need to get to the point where u tell about the person/invention- i no u've started on the invention.***:)***
Do we have to do the narative from the famouse person's perspective
no thomas,
im doing it from a girl WATCHINg it take place
Thomas, we can do it from any reasonable perspective. you don't have to do it from your persons. you can if you want to
This is what i have so far...
it is kind of alot
The Peanut Scientist
On a typical day in the Washington Library, a book club, The Enthusiastic Readers, met. Their leader, librarian Mrs. Smith, announced that they were going to read about George Washington Carver. The book was called George Washington Carver: the Plant Doctor. Mrs. Smith started reading. On a cold winter day in Diamond Grove, Missouri, Mary Carver went into labor. The winter wind whistled through the slave house window and brushed across Mary’s face. Giles Carver, Mary’s husband, ran to the chamber pot after he had eaten his supper. Right after Giles returned, the baby was born. Susan and Giles decided to name him George Washington Carver. January 2, 1862 was a memorable day for the Carver family. Sadly, George Washington Carver was born into harsh conditions based on his race. The calming smell of the newborn baby filled the air like a large field of yellow flowers. A few years later, because George was too young to work in the fields, he developed a passion for plants and even made a garden in the woods so that he could talk to his flowers. When George was 12, he left home for college. First, he attended Simpson College in Indianola, Indiana, but he later transferred to Iowa State Agricultural College. He got his Masters Degree in 1898. Later in his life, Carver noticed that every farmer was complaining that their cotton was removing the nutrients that other plants needed to grow. Therefore, the farmers have nothing to make a living on. He got so annoyed of people demanding him to come up with a solution that he stayed in his lab for the next 3 days to save the cotton. At 3:47 on March 20, 1904, George W. Carver had thought of an answer.
yours is great bennett!!!
heres mine
i feel like im nowhere close about 4/8 or 5/8 done
Wright Brothers
“The airplane stays up because it doesn’t have time to fall” - The Wright Brothers. On December 16, 1903, I learned about the Wright Brothers. The way my parents and the newspaper described them was crazy lunatics waisting their time on building a figure that can fly, but my teacher thought of them as wonderful inventors. Ms. Baker, my teacher, loves inventions so did my best friend, Patrick. He was great at building things. I am very outgoing says my mother, and a great listener says my pa. Learning about the Wright Brothers inspired me to learn even more. Later on I visited the city library, and like I suspected Patrick and Ellen, my two best friends were there too. Reading and reading, on and on. From when they lived in Dayton, Ohio, to when they opened a printing press, and started spectating birds and how they fly, I started thinking they were pretty amazing.
We decided to meet up at my house the next morning while we didn’t know what was in store. Walking along Fern Mount road the gravel poked into my new shoes. The could hear the faint sounds of children playing, and adults talking and doing business, but what got my attention was the newspaper man at the end of the block. “Wright Brothers coming to N.C., get your newspapers and read all about it. Only fifty cents a piece.” I counted my money. Two dimes, one nickel, five pennies, only thirty cents. Remembering I had spent it on bubble gum put a frown on my face as I slumped my shoulders in disbelief. While no one was watching, I snatched a newspaper and ran. Luckily, he didn’t notice. I sighed with relief.
In the Morning, I woke to the sounds of Blue Jays in the trees. I ate, walked the dog, and then I got ready to meet my friends. In my backyard we have a fort that we use when we have secret meetings. Ellen told us more facts about the Wright Brothers, like their names are Wilber and Orville. The former is the oldest. Although, Patrick had other plans. “Behind your backyard, and through the forest there is a shack.” said Patrick. I told them we should check it out. We started walking. Strong scented pine trees filled my nose as I walked along with Ellen and Patrick. The taste of moldiness from the plants and moisture from the ground reminded me of my mountain house. From long vines hanging down to the ground, to the crickets chirping noisily, and mud sticking to my shoes, I knew something bad was going to happen. Standing in front of us was an old shack with broken windows, a torn roof, and a sign that said “NO TRESPASSING.”
Nick-Mr. Buxton- When are the narratives due? It's either you've told me and I've forgot, or I haven't received word yet. THANKS-Nicky Q!
how long is our narritive suposed to be i thought is was suppposed to be one or more pages?
Liza, its supposed to be at the minimum, 1 to 1 and a half pages. -Nick
thanks nick
Nick narrative's due tuesday!!!! =~)
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