Evaluating - Mentor Text Example

Make sure the evaluation of your newspaper article resembles the paragraph below. Your opinion of what you read should be very evident. Follow effective paragrpah struture. Have you used sentence fluency?

Two adventurous fifth grade school girls search out more than they bargained for while attending a class outing at the Natural History Museum. A Mummy Mystery is an exciting story that leaves readers on the edge of their seats. The main characters, Molly and Lena, are very mischievous throughout the story. Even though they should be with their class, they wander off on their own almost immediately on their arrival at the museum. Lena is probably the most disobedient of the two. Molly seems be the type of person who worries about what other people think, “Mr. Gardiner will be furious with us!” she exclaimed at one stage in the story. Alternatively, Lena’s fascination with ancient Egypt and complete disregard for her class was demonstrated when she almost ran toward the larger banner over the entrance to the Great Hall. The author, Andrew Clements, tries to use humor to break down some of the tension that builds in the story. It was amusing when Officer Johnson thought he was on T.V. when he first saw the Mummy’s hand move or when Molly whispered to Lena about the Mummy, “…it looks more like a squirrel that’s been hit by a car.” The author does not seem to pay meticulous attention to all of the fine details, leaving some of the events of the story a little confusing. How would a mouse be able to burrow under the Mummy’s wrappings without causing damage? Moreover, the mouse would have died of suffocation if it had been stuck in the glass case all that time. Any “…ancient pieces of corn or wheat”, would surely be rotten after thousands of years and could not have provided food for the mouse. Despite some over exaggerated facts, the daring exploits of Molly and Lena and a few light hearted jokes make the tale, A Mummy Mystery both memorable and enjoyable. On your next field trip, I’d watch the exhibits really closely if I were you. Just in case.