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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Descriptive Sentences - Brag Sheet

Enjoy these impressive descriptive writing pieces rom your classmates. Notice how there is limited action taking place in the writing. It is as if 'time froze' and just a 'moment in time'  is being  described.

Fishing with Dad
Miles W.


As I listened to the hypnotic sound of the beach volleyball being bounced back and forth on the sandy court, all was peaceful. The half-bare trees had their own special way of beauty by shaking slowly (as if in a dream) their artistically designed red/yellow leaves. Faint footsteps in the distance awoke my senses, and I started to think in a clearer state of mind. Being able to think more clearly, I realized that there was an assortment of knobby twigs that must have fallen from the tree branch hovering above me. Red/yellow leaves in the grass and cold, crispy air also surrounded me. Suddenly something on my lap moved! A fishing rod! I then remembered that I was fishing with my dad, and he had gone to the car to get more bait.

Descriptive Paragraph: A Moment In Time

By: Kate Mace
The shiny galas and crisp mackintosh were just begging me to pluck them off
the branches. Somewhere else out in the orchard, a small child shouted out in frustration. Clover and trees in the area created an earthy, inciting aroma that made me want to stand there under that tree and breathe it in all day. Suddenly, a loud rumble that came from under my shoulders interrupted my peaceful daydream in paradise. I could understand the grumbling from my stomach. It was saying, “Feed me Kate, I’m famished. I could hear the apple treats being set out on the table for just my family and I to enjoy. As I sat down on the table, the mouth watering smells wafted up into my nostrils from the outdoor kitchen. The apple pie and apple cider were for dessert of course, but I thought we should eat them now. For they would be cold if we waited any longer, and nobody wants cold apple pie or warm cider. Apple juice is what we would drink instead of cider. Apple tarts and apple donuts were just now being set out on the table. I put away a second or two to soak it all in and take a mental note of it. Sprinkled with powder sugar, the petite donuts seemed extremely delicious. They were arranged on a platter decoratively, and they made you want to grab the giant platter and start wolfing them down. As for the apple tarts, lets just say that they tasted better when they were in your mouth, not on yourshirt. When I could get them in my mouth, they were the best donuts I had ever tasted. Even though we had to go home right after lunch, I had a great time at the orchard on the mountain.

A Perfect Day of Winter
by Maddie


Branches and leaves of all colors crinkle as I step on the ground in the wooded area. Pine needles on the evergreens brushed against my coat and boots. Although the snow and air was cold, it had a welcoming feeling. The frosted leaves and weak branches fell as the wind howled throughout the trees. My fingers and toes were numb, and my breath made white clouds in the air. Small and large, icicles hung upon the dormant trees sparkling like crystals because of the afternoon sun above. Snowflakes fell from the sky dancing in the wind, each twirling like how dancers skip across the floor. There were no flowers anymore, and all the plants were drooping as if they knew there had been a winter’s frost. The trees shook as the wind attacked them, and the branches rattled as if they were mad. Animal prints decorated the snow in patterns in the same way a stamp would decorate a piece of paper. Winter is beautiful, but I always miss the animals that are hibernating for the season. Snow falling from branches way high in the trees fell and made me think my friends and I were in a snow fight. Sitting in a branch high in my favorite tree made me feel so small to the big woods around me. The wind up my spine made me shiver all over and reminded me what it would be like to be on the streets without a coat. Snow drifts were all over like little hills of snow to make snow forts out of them. The beautiful white snow reminded me of how perfect the world really was. All my worries drifted out of my head as I thought of how good I had it. The nature of the woods reminded me that life was more than the newest ipod or the biggest house. The woods was a place were life thrived, and it felt as if you were on top of the world. Dad’s voice echoed through the trees “ Time for hot chocolate!” for that was our favorite drink after a day in the snow. Tripping over stumps and roots, I darted toward the cozy house.

11 comments:

  1. we are not going to be accessed to any notes... right

    ReplyDelete
  2. MC-yes
    Miles I thought you did a great job just exsplaning what i thought was a half of second. All your sentences pulled me in. GREAT JOB BOTH OF YOU.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just lost at ping pong 14-12. I had 2 match points.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nice Job! Miles I thought you did a great job about have a moment.
    Abigail

    ReplyDelete
  5. Are all the vocab. words on that sheet you gave us in class???

    And are the mind maps supposed to have the topic in a big circle in the middle and little circles sticking out with things like vocab, problems, etc...

    Also are we supposed to put things in the circles or just leave them blank???

    -Sarah Neely

    ReplyDelete
  6. Also Kate, Miles, and Maddie you ALL DID A GREAT JOB!!!

    you were all very describing in your writing!!!

    GOOD JOB Hayden 12-14 WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW

    -SARAH BIRD NEELY

    ReplyDelete
  7. hayden- how do u do so wel in ping pong???????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!..........




    RyAn S.

    ReplyDelete
  8. When does this semester end?
    How do you change your computer so you don't have to login every time?!
    -Forrester

    ReplyDelete
  9. Forrester mine just lets me stay logged in you might just have to log in every time...

    -SARAH BIRD NEELY

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sarah- why do you keep putting "Sarah Bird Neely"
    Forrester- anywhere from yesterday to Friday( I'm pretty sure)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well Hayden that's my nick name "Sarah Bird"
    and my dad came up with it and he wanted me to sign my name that way...

    -sAraH

    ReplyDelete

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