This might be something many of you ask in the next few weeks - Look at these samples below and see if you can answer your own question.
Look how this student builds the mood of the piece through the description of setting
Look how this student draws you slowly into the purchase of the special object
Want to know who these writers are? - Ask around...hopefully - YOU will be here next week!
Now how does your writing from Friday's class compare?
Always ask...what are these writers doing that I can imitate?
In 11 days, you will be submitting your first piece for grading! What grade will you be getting?
Win Sigma $$$ for leaving a comment for these writers.
The third piece of writing was written beautifully. There was such a strong emotion throughout the piece and such vivid description. Also the second writing piece was also very good, I loved how you wrote about your object by showing not telling. The first had a very palpable mood of the setting which effected the writing in a great way.
ReplyDeleteAlso on the third piece of writing I like how the writer put: Noisy Streets, Roaring Motorcycles methodic chanting that was actually barging.
ReplyDeleteI felt like this brought the story to life.
I like how in all of the pieces you could clearly picture every single thing that was happening. The word choice all of them used was really good. Another thing I would like to point out is how every piece was really emotional whether in sadness or excitement. And that really helps a reader relate to the situation.
ReplyDeleteI loved how in the end of your piece, you wrapped things up beautifully. I especially liked how it said I refused to let her leave, unappreciated and unloved. It really shows how much you like this person. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThese two pieces paint a picture in your mind of what it feels and looks like. Instead of have the fire made the room lighter. An example can be The warm cozy fire blazed merrily on this cold night. This is what I can picture an these pieces made me do it. All of the pieces ends were great. Every sentence did not start with I, which is great. Fantastic job to these Mystery writers
ReplyDeleteI really like how the 1st one was very descriptive. There were lots of good verbs to explain what the area looked like which was great. I really like how on the the 2nd piece, they used line breaks in a really efficient way. All 3 pieces were great. Nice job to the mystery writers!
ReplyDeleteZachary Cook The pieee was writing beautifully and had a high level of sophisicated thoughts
ReplyDelete