RLA
Copy your lit. essay thesis statement and opening paragraph in comment window. Read other people's examples and compare them against your own. Offer feedback to classmates if you have time.
Research the the Right to Bear Arms for next week's debate
"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." Maya Angelou
does anyone mind posting their Singapore Place project link on the blog so others can see an example
ReplyDeleteMr.Buxton can you help me orginze my work into one paragraph. Since i am confused on where each certain paragraph goeS. Also if anyone has any suggestions or CUNSTRUCTIVE CIRTISMTUM!Please comment
ReplyDeleteName: Riya Devgan
Date: May 25th,2012
Focus: Literacy Essay
Thesis Statement:
Multitude of life lessons in the book such as lack of confidence, live in the moment, never give up. However the main life lesson is to always find a solution in a problem.”The Marble Champ”by Gary Soto the main character Lupe choose to be determined and to persevere, and to be brave and to take a risk when Lupe was challenged by a problem.
Introductory Paragraph: Gently sitting on my bed sounds of disappointment and fruitless conversations my dad lectured my problems. “ Why not try marbles” thunder struck before i could make up my mind. Rain bombed the ground camouflaging in the dark gray shadows of the night. My heart knew there had to be some sort of sport that I was talented at. However pondering receiving no answers i started to believe that maybe the success in sports had a weak chance of coming true for me. Glaring at my dad I was trying to seek an answer, “Why can't i be good at sports, any sport even marbles” Leaving the worries to my self an idea bombed my head, Marbles could be my new talent. Smiling as wide as the Pacific Ocean my heart found determination.
“Why can't I be good at sports even marbles. Thats it i could play marbles".
If a dream comes once, its a dream. If a dream comes twice, its a message.
ReplyDeleteThe Short story Turquoise Horse by Gerald Hausman contains a great message to follow your dreams because it can lead you somewhere, dreams are important, and it has happened in history.
That is my opening paragragh
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ReplyDeleteis our Singapore history project due tomorrow because it didn't get mentioned on the blog
ReplyDeletewhat do u think of this precept
ReplyDeleteits not who you are that holds you back,
its who you think you are
Aditya- Yeah actually that is really good.
ReplyDeleteCamille- Yup! It's due tommorow
how about this one
ReplyDeleteWhen the world gives you a hundred reasons to cry show the world you have a thousand reasons to smile this is the one we were talking about in class.
Thesis statement: The story The Marble Champ by Gary Soto is undeniably about getting over your problem. during the story,” In the story the main character helps solve her problem by recognizing her strengths, not underestimating herself, and putting in effort.
ReplyDeleteIn many occasions people all around the world underestimate themselves when they are trying to get over a problem ; however, the story the Marble Champ by Gary Soto is completely opposite of that. The story The Marble Champ by Gary Soto is undeniably about getting over your problem. The quote ‘unlimited is your ability, underestimation limits your ability, ability is needed to conquer a problem, underestimate your ability not’ by Aditya Kalra is a clear epitome of The Marble Champ. During the Marble Champ,” She had earned honors because of her brains, but winning in sports is a different experience. she thanked her tired thumb... you made me champion” clearly optimizes getting over her problem. In the story the main character helps solve her problem by recognizing her strengths, not underestimating herself, and putting in effort.
what do u think
-aditya
RIYA- you cannot write in 1st person. There is far too much detail in your paragraph. you have not mentioned the author or title of the story.
ReplyDeleteRead other examples to see how it is done
Alex - replace 'you' with 'readers' - it is very short and lacks quality sentence structure. you needed to also post your thesis statement
Opening Paragraph By: Rachel:
ReplyDeleteWhen you make a goal, make it memorable. Lupe’s goals were too easy to manage, she should have chosen something more daring. Lupe could have chosen a harder subject because she’s capable of it, she should impress her father more and she needed to step out of her comfort zone with sports. The line “but the power from my thumb made the marble move only an inch or two.” That sentence implies that she only uses her thumb and doesn’t move around physically.
i havent finished my opu=ening para. but heres my thesis:
ReplyDeleteMarble Champ by Gary Soto is about palpably about trying your best to overcome your challenges, transforming your flaws into strengths, and acting kind towards your opponents.
is this a precept?
ReplyDeleteJust because you were born ugly doesn't mean you are ugly.
Name: Rohan Kothari. Date: 29/May/2012
ReplyDeleteWALT: Write a literary essay
Thesis Statement:
Gerald Hausman clearly states the message of the story turquoise horse to be trust, because Lisa trusts other people too easily with deep secrets, valuable goods and wealth.
It only hurts when you pretend it doesn’t. This is what happens when someone trusts a friend and they don’t have a true friend.The message of the story Turquoise horse by Gerald Hausman is trust, just like how Lisa trusts other people with deep secrets, valuable goods and wealth. The way Lisa acts in this story shows how she is affected by trusting other people.Lisa trusts other people to easily thus putting a lot of valuables in jepoardy.
yes carter
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIs this good???? (SO FAR)
ReplyDeleteName: Han Date: May 25th 2012
Focus: Literary Essay
Thesis Statement:
In the story The Marble Champ, the hard-work, hope, and kindness the main character, Lupe goes through are clearly shown.
Opening Paragraph:
How would people accomplish their challenges? “I wish I could win something, anything, even marbles.” Glancing out at the shy girl, hope and a dream would follow her around. Lupe Medrano in the story The Marble Champ by Gary Soto, makes a goal on wanting to be good at sports. Lupe is determined and will not give up on it till she accomplishes it. When life gives you the choice to be hard-working or lazy, pick hard-working because it will always lead to success. This is what Lupe was thinking while wanting to fulfill her dream to be good at sports.
carter/han - you don't have a topic in your thesis statement - just evidence... you need to work on it
ReplyDeleteAditya - you can NOT quote yourself!
All of you--- your sentences are WEAK. you need to make sure you are not writing run-on sentences. don't forget to control your comma usage! ouch!!!!
Mr.Buxton- Is my opening paragraph O.K though???? I am guessing I still need to work on it to.
ReplyDeleteWow! I found today's precept literal! I pretended my ankle doesn't hurt, and now it seriously does! I hope it works so that if I believe it does hurt, it won't...... ;)
ReplyDeleteBeauty isn’t only skin deep. Madame de Villeneuve’s book, Beauty and the Beast, is about judging by what is in the inside, not the outside. My reasons for this opinion is the Beast, the betrayal of Beauty’s father, and the rose.
ReplyDeleteI know it needs work, but I have writer's block
ReplyDeleteDoes our Singapore project have to literally say out thesis?
ReplyDeleteNo Maya. Depends on how you want to say it.
ReplyDeleteOh good, phew!
ReplyDeleteGeorge! here's mine!
ReplyDeletehttp://prezi.com/knnbmzsh4dph/the-fullertons-twisted-heritage/
Enjoy it!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThesis Statement:
ReplyDeleteIn the story, Thank You M'am, Roger clearly shows not to build a wall between change and your heart because there's always enough room for change.
Opening Paragraph:
Thank You M'am by Langston Hughes obviously shows that you should forgive and forget what happened in the past and move forward in time. The character Roger reminds me of Georgie in the book, The Old Willis Place. Georgie thinks that he was right when he was stealing things. Roger did the same. They both learned that the people they were stealing from could actually be really nice. They might even be hurt if you stole certain things that they treasured.
Thesis Statement:
ReplyDeleteIn the story, Thank You M'am, Roger clearly shows not to build a wall between change and your heart because there's always enough room for change.
Opening Paragraph:
Thank You M'am by Langston Hughes obviously shows that you should forgive and forget what happened in the past and move forward in time. The character Roger reminds me of Georgie in the book, The Old Willis Place. Georgie thinks that he was right when he was stealing things. Roger did the same. They both learned that the people they were stealing from could actually be really nice. They might even be hurt if you stole certain things that they treasured.
Thanks, Nakul!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome
ReplyDeleteIs it good?
ReplyDeleteThesis Statement
ReplyDeleteIt’s palpable that Turquoise Horse is about being yourself like when the main character learns that it’s ok to write your dreams, learns that when writing about subjects after following your heart has benefits, and that being yourself shows your true self
Opening Paragraph
“I’m a thief,” Lisa cried when she didn’t realize that being yourself is okay and everyone does it because if you follow your dreams it helps you. The main character learns that writing about your dreams is ok, learns that writing subjects about after following your heart has benefits, and that being yourself shows your true self is the cliched message and the Turquoise Horse is ambiguous and rounds up the confusing story
Zachary May, 29th, 2012
ReplyDeleteLiteracy essay
Thesis statement
In the book Stellaluna by Janell Cannon the author is clearly saying that the main message is friendship because Stellaluna makes friends even though her friends are different.
Do you know what it takes to be a friend? In Stellaluna it tells you what it takes to be a friend. Stellaluna, a little fruit bat, made friends with birds called Pip, Flitter, and Flap. This is a good example that friends don’t care if you're different. When Stellaluna wanted Pip, Flitter, and Flap to come and fly with her at night, the three birds started to fly but then they started to fall. While falling Stellaluna swooped down and saved them. As Stellaluna was swooping down to save her friends I can envision in Stellaluna’s mind all that courage she had to save her friends. Friends would do anything to help each other.
Thesis Statement: It is palpable that Lupe Medrano, the main character in The Marble Champ, is determined, works hard, and follow her dreams.
ReplyDeleteThroughout ‘The Marble Champ’ many events take place. First, Lupe is depressed and wants to be good at a sport because she can never even kick the soccer ball. Eventually, she thinks about something she hasn’t tried in sports, marbles. She ends up having a talent in that and wins the playground championship. Overall, Lupe is determined, works hard, and follows her wildest dreams.
Sorry that I forgot to post my thesis and introductory paragraph.
ReplyDeleteName: Jacqueline Lee Date: 25/5/2012
Focus: Literary essay
A person who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. Once you have made a mistake, you can learn from that mistake. Every story has a important and inspirational message. In Langston Hughes’s story “Thank you M’am”, I used to think that the message was “Watch your actions, they become your character. Now I realized that the inspirational message of the story is “You can’t change your past but you can change your future.” Langston Hughes has clearly stated what the inspirational message of the story is.
A boy ran up to her and tried to snatch her purse. The strap broke with a single tug. The large woman simply turned around and kicked him right square in his jean sitter. “Now ain't you ashamed of yourself?” This shows that the past can contain mistakes that Roger has created. “I only wanted a pair of blue suede shoes,”said the boy. Not only Roger broke her purse, he only just wanted money for a new pair of shoes because he doesn’t have a home. Later on in the story, the kind large lady became kind to him. “Then we’ll eat,”said the woman. “I was going to make cocoa out of this canned milk. She heated some lima beans and ham she had in the icebox, made the cocoa, and set the table. Then she cut him a half of her 10 cent cake. “Now here, take this ten dollars and buy yourself some new blue suede shoes. From this story, I learned that it’s better to forget the past and move on.
Here is my Opening...
ReplyDeleteGeorge Janke May 25, 2012
Literacy Essay
Because all fairy tales use it, identification proves simple, and trouble makers could use it the opposite way it should be used, the message offered in this story lacks strength and is cliched .
“What is beautiful is good and who is good will soon be beautiful.” This meaningful precept accurately describes the plot of Beauty and the Beast, a story by Madame de Villeneuve. Beauty, a brilliant character, is beautiful not only to the eyes but to an onlookers heart. The beast, repulsive to the eyes, has a caring heart and shows empathy for everyone, even Beaty’s suffering father. Closing the story, the beast turns into a prosperous but compassionate prince. The message this story offers, “Judge people by the inside not how they look from the outside,” lacks strength and is cliched because all fairy tales use it, identification proves simple, and trouble makers could use it the opposite way it should be used.
Could someone give and example of what our SS thesis should look like?
ReplyDeleteThesis:
ReplyDeleteFrom choosing love instead of fortune, to trusting your heart, and 3rd P2, the unmistakable message of Madame de Villeneuve’s riveting novel, Beauty and the Beast, is to follow your instincts by judging people by their heart and not by what meets your eyes.
Opening:
In the story, Beauty and the Beast, this quote by Confucius applies even in the worst of times, “Everything has it’s beauty, but not everyone sees it.” Beyond the ugly brown fur that envelops every inch of the Beast’s humongous body, his heart is as ripe as a freshly-picked apple, prepared to welcome any newcomer into the depths of the palace that is home to only himself.
Mr.Buxton, is it alright if my History Project has only 2 power 2's? One of them has, like, 10 power 3's.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteyes Anisha! Mr.B told me 3 pover 2s is too hard for 5th graders so it's ok if it's 2 if you describe it
ReplyDeleteFrom a mighty fort defending the Singapore River,
ReplyDeleteto an iconic post office in the business area of Singapore,
and a luxurious 5-star hotel which is recognized around the world,
the evolution of the Fullerton Hotel was directly symbolic of the growth Singapore as a nation.
Here;s mine george!
Thanks, just making sure mine looked right to others!
ReplyDelete"When choosing between love and fortune, choose love." -Sabine Manachi. This quote by Sabine Manachi proves that all you need to be happy in life is love. Like the song price tag by Jessie J. "It's not about the money, we don't need your money, we just want to make the world dance. Forget about the price tag." The story Beauty and the Beast by Madame de Villenevue, Beauty clearly shows that love will get you far in a good way, but fortune will get you to the top, known at the snobby rich person.
ReplyDeletePut mine on my blog (thesis)
ReplyDeleteis this good?
ReplyDeleteThesis Statement
Marble Champ by Gary Soto is about palpably about trying your best to transform your flaws into strengths and acting kind towards your opponents.
“I wish I could do anything, something, even marbles.” Lupe, the main character, is bad at sports but good at schoolwork. Once she finds out something that is easy she tries her hardest at it and actually beats other people. In all of her mini tournaments, the people that she beat instead of leaving them behind Lupe and all of her opponents actually make a group that gets karger every game. “Yes, marbles, I could be good at playing marbles.”
palpably about not about palpably about
ReplyDeletesabine - don't quote yourself
ReplyDeleteI love to read about your experiences! You write beautifully about this. gym buxton !!! I have enjoyed reading your articles. They are very well written. It looks like you spend a large amount of time and effort in writing the blog. I am appreciating your effort.
ReplyDelete