Showing not Telling Sensory Writing Examples

Congratulations to Ryan S and Ansley, (Graham class) and Robert  (Buxton class) for your triumph in the '5-Day 10 minute writing' competition. We will have another writing competition next April with different partners. Enjoy some notable pieces of writing from your classmates last week. Let these be the 'standard' by which you judge the quality of your own  personal narratives this evening.  Feel free to  leave a comment about the writing.

Day 1

Gazing at the crowd of young school kids glazed eyes, I begin to feel what it is really like to be ignored.  The itchy lace surrounding my neck urges me to scratch all ober my body, buy I stay as still as possible. Mild dewey oders of my husband's pitchfork slowly waft towards my smooth, straight nose. A wrinkly face belonging to my husband shimmered like a ray of sunglight on a lakeunder the light. His narrow, wiry glasses bob up and down on his nose as he slightly turns his head to peer at the kids tired faces. As the noisy students trudge to the museum's lunchroom, my husband and I sign with relief.  by Ansley and Ryan S.

Day 2

Up on the mountain, the Grinch glared down at the mountain he used to love. The stars and the moon were the only hasppiness in the Grinch's life of despair. As the cold December rain whislted, the quiet town of Whoville slept in a shower of peace. A sinister grin spread across his face while he tailored his Santa suit. He seemed older than the hills that rolled over the quiet, sleepy town.  As the clock struck 11pm,  the Grinch mopped his sweat-filled brow and cut the pine wood for hiss sleigh. Not a soul paced the old,rocky streets at his hour. He smelled freshly wrapped candy canes whafting out of every chimney. The Grinch knew Christmas would never come to Whoville again.

by Kate and Will.

Day 3

I felt lost. Bustling around me, my siblings of different colors shoved and pushed me as if I were dirt. I felt crammed, like an elephant in a desk.  My stomach churned whem students came. I was as quite as a Churchill mouse. I was only a small portion of this master piece.  A blob, barely seen. A breeze of students passed knowing that they shouldn't be running. Me, only a small circle of this dazzling painting wishing to be free.  by Jack and Sabrina

Day 4 The Music 'O Fortuna'
I could hear  the awful, fear instilling band as I stumbled past. If only I had thought before commiting that awful crime. Had I stopped and considered before stealing, I would not be here walking to my death, like a pig to slaughter. Trepidation was everywhere. The joys and regrets of my short, pitful life flashed before me like a movie.  It was not my fault that I was desparate,stole, and was sentenced here before this rookery waiting calmly for the end.  The evil drumming stopped, a voice rang out, and I knew no more. I had chosen the wrong path, and paid the price like a sorry gambler.  by Robert


Day 5  the word...  'BEAUTY'
I hld back as I walk into the kitchen trying to resist the untouched chocolate truffle. I feel as if I want to marry the sweet chocolate sensation. I hear my conscience calling out, 'don't do it, don't do it' ! I wipe a drop of sweat off my forehead. The dark chocolate powedered covered dessert is just too much for me.  I cannot take it anymore; I have to have one. I reach nito the bagm get one, and plop it into my mouth. I know it now. Beauty is not a sight but a taste.

These were just some of the outstanding pieces you all created. Fine efforts for just 10mins of writing. Watch out for 'showing not telling' competition number 2 in the spring!