Enjoy Alex's descritpive writing. Can you spot th advanced ubjets?
A Day at McDonalds
King size Hershey bars and fatty French Fries light up like beacons, calling my brother to them. Some of the burgers at the front of the store smelled like chemicals and looked like they had just been sat on. A fat, bald man in front of him turned around to sling a silver bugger wrapper into the trash can. Blotched red ketchup and yellow smeared mustard stains lined the front of his shirt. As the man hurled the wrapper, Jacob disappeared out of my view. The wrapper flashed through the air, and I got a glimpse Jacob about 10 feet away. The dirty construction workers next to us continued to noisily eat their meals while I lunged forward through the bustling crowd, grabbed his arm, and hoisted him back toward my parents. Turning toward our parents, we soon realized we didn’t know where they had sat down.
As we frantically looked for our parents, I realized that they were right behind us and there was no need to worry. The worker decided just then to call our name. Our parents went up to get our burgers, yet we lost sight of them again. We sat down at the table and about five seconds later our mom and dad came back with our food. The food looked okay. I have not been there since.
I really like the topic Alex picked. Good job Alex
ReplyDeleteIt has many descriptive words. Nice Job!
ReplyDeleteAbigail
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteproper job alex
ReplyDeleteRyAn S.
see what i did there i used what we learned today and..... u dont care
ReplyDeleteRyAn S.
nice job Ryan.
ReplyDeleteAbigail
nice opinion- proper
ReplyDeletemy opinion-A+
Please put advice or complements. Sorry for the lenght. Its only a page in 17 font.
ReplyDeleteWhat Baseball Can Do To You
Walking with a swagger in my step I started walking to get a trophy that would make all my other trophies seem minute.Our team had finally accomplished a feat that some people may never experience. The stars shone bright in the crystal clear sky in Asheville, North Carolina as all of our players had just experienced the best night of our lives. The incessant cheering droned on and on, yet the fans who sounded like they were yelling into a bullhorn would just not stop. All through the roaring crowd my parents shouted and they would have kept screaming until they got a sore throat. For one little second, my body felt like I was walking on water, but soon all my teammates started slapping each other on the back again. I continued giving enormous amounts of high-fives as my body kept on walking for what seemed like an eternity. Oddly, one of the opposing teammates cheered me on, and only I knew why. We had been friends since we were eight and he thought cheering for me was the right thing to do and I respected him for that. The impossibly long steps finally ended as my legs finally brought me at a stop in front of my coaches. The three supportive coaches all shook my hand and as I gathered up the courage my eyes looked right into theirs. All of us knew then that our team deserved to go on and play in Washington, D.C. Happiness swelled up inside of me as all that seemed un-real finally seemed like reality. As the coaches congratulated and praised me some more, a humongous smile spread across my face. The huge smile let my mentors know how proud I was of my teammates. All through those steps my brain tried to soak up everything around me so my body could remember what hard work turns into. Success. Some of my friends will never experience the feeling that my team felt that night. Will they? Even if they don’t, hopefully they can be able to feel or relate to my exceptional experience on what baseball can do to you.
By: Hayden Hunley
I really like your first sentence Hayden!
ReplyDeleteCaroline M
Hayden-
ReplyDeleteI really like you 1st sentence too!!!
+ you really added great decription in all your writing i think it deserves some where from A to an A+
You might get a A- but i don't think so, watch for things like my and I and he but you don't have too, too much of those
GOOD JOB!! I think you should be proud with your writing and thanks for putting it on the blog!!!
Will you please tell me how you copied and pasted i don't really understand...
Good job at ping pong By The Way...
-SaRah nEelY