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Thursday, December 3, 2009

Brag Sheet

Personal Narrative


By: Kate Mace

As the sound of my mom’s voice echoed through my brain, I caught a glimpse of the New York, yellow taxicab racing toward my family. The hotel we were staying at towered over the streets of the city. While I was waiting for the cab to pull up in front of the hotel’s massive doors for us to climb in, I made a mental plan for our day in the city. First, we had gotten out of bed, eaten breakfast, and made our way to the front steps to sit down while my mom called a cab. After we stepped into the scented cab, my mom told Larry, the cab driver, that we were going to FAO Schwartz. Usually, my mom told us where my family was going for the day, but today, she surprised us by telling the cab driver we were going to one of the greatest and biggest toy stores on the planet! The bland, drab seats of the cab gave me no further excitement when I rested my head on the back of the seat. The bleeping of the horns and the squealing of brakes called me to my senses.

The cab was stopped in front of the enormous building with an even more humongous sign welcoming you into FAO Schwartz. As the aromatic scent drifted p into my nostrils, my jaw dropped. Even the windows were stuffed to the gills with cute stuffed bears and Lego sets. The mellow colors of the plush toys made my little brother squeal with joy. Matthew, my little brother, pointed out that there was a giant pile of stuffed animals in the middle of the room, and kids were jumping and playing in it. Without asking, I ran up to the heap of toys and did a giant cannonball into it. The cushy, plush animals engulfed me like a volcano engulfs the chunks of rock that plop into its burning mass. As soon as I stuck my head out of the pile, it was pushed back under again when my brother decided it was his turn to jump into the animal pile. Luckily, my mom saw this whole scene unfold so I didn’t have to waste my breath yelling at my brother to get off of me. The pitter-patter of my little little brother’s feet abruptly stopped as my mom scooped him off the ceramic floor before he too could jump on the pile. I felt relieved as we ran up the stairs to the giant piano.

Even though there were a lot of kids at FAO, I still had a lot of fun. The gentle sound of Lucas’s snoring put me in a peaceful mood. The pitter-patter of rain, not feet, filled my ears up to it’s uppermost level, so that I could hear nothing else. I was tired and happy when the cab reached the hotel yet again. Walking through the doors of the Duke Frabresan, I took a deep breath of the perfumy smell. As my mom ushered us to the door of our room, I saw the delicate flowers sitting on the stool next to the table. Because the door was shut, the music became muffled. Jumping on a bed covered in soft, fluffy pillows never felt so good.

26 comments:

  1. Kate,
    I really liked how you ended and said that "the pillows had never felt so good"! great job!

    Maddie

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  2. on nouns test do we need to know like...rule 3-what the meaning of rule 3 is?

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  3. No just the rules. Ex: if a word in in consadent o you have to add es (exception: pianos)
    ~hayden

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  4. Mr.B.,
    since I have done all the noun practices, are there any more websites you would recommend?

    Maddie Weber

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  5. So our songs are still due tomorrow?????????????????????????????????

    ~Sarah

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  6. no h/w due tomorrow..just study for the tests

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  7. Try these Maddie
    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/cgi-shl/par_numberless_quiz.pl/plurals_quiz.html
    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/cgi-shl/quiz20.pl/plurals_quiz2.htm
    http://www.quia.com/jg/67715.html
    http://www.quia.com/cb/28126.html

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  8. Kate, great job!. I liked how you described objects in a descriptive way.

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  9. Forrester,
    I think we should do something different for the essay in class because we just did unique tourist attractions and that was not what the essay question was asking and we were struggling for power 3's and thing to elaborate about so I will type an essay up by tomorrow about something more general, and can you type one up too if u have the time but if you don't, don't worry about it. then send it to me through google docs, my username is 17weberm, and I will send you mine so you can change it in whatever way you want, then send it back. Thanks!!!!!

    Maddie

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  10. Can we use our Narritive Power plans while we are doing the writing in class on Friday???????

    ~Sarah

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  11. is the yellow graab sheet soposed to help us with our narative

    flynn

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  12. Yes Sarah and yes
    Flynn




    } Sabrina

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  13. Flynn also use the yellow proofreading sheet.

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  14. when are we going to do our songs



    RyAn S.

    (P.S. hayden- JAKE DELHOMME SHOULD ME THE M.V.P.!!!!!?????......

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  15. ryan...i am not in your class, but i think your class is doing it tomarrow after the test! Also...do you mean jake dolome should BE m.v.p.!!!!

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  16. This is REALLY good, Kate. My favorite lines are: The bleeping of the horns and the squealing of brakes called me to my senses.
    and
    The cushy, plush animals engulfed me like a volcano engulfs the chunks of rock that plop into its burning mass.

    Great job. It makes me wish I could be there!! (really badly; now it is on my top ten things to do in New York) Great adjectives.

    - Mary Grace

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  17. hey do any of you all know if kansas is in the midwest. i think so but on the computer there are many different things

    Flynn

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  18. Flynn,
    Kansas is in the Midwest

    Maddie

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  19. Mr.B-Just to clarify, we can only use 3 G.R.A.A.B. technique?(that's what it says on the proofreading sheet.)

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  20. I don't know, but i used 4 of the 5GRABB techniques.
    ~hayden

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  21. no...you can use more than 3 GRAAB if you want if you want... 3 is just a guideline

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  22. This comment has been removed by the author.

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