Be thinking of your salient points for Among the Hidden for Friday’s cross class G.C. You must speak only from the perspective you were given in class today. You will speak in 1st person.
- Correctly punctuated dialogue
- A clear message/ moral to the story
- Contains elements of the fantasy genre
- Very strong word choice/verb choice/sentence fluency
- Focus: Fantasy Writing Title: (your invented title) Name: (Your name)
- 1.5 line spacing
- Comic sans font
42 comments:
Mr.Buxton I just wanna insure you that I am not going to be able to go to school tomorrow. So please keep me posted on what I have missed. Happy Teacher Appreciation Day!
Maya: Hope you feel better! Miss you already!
Anisha: Aww! Riya, get well soon! That's an order. I am already missing you so much, I'm not even bothering about my sentence fluency and word choice! (BTW, "insure" is actually "ensure". The insure you used is like insurance. It is a word, you just used wrong.)
Yes, Happy Teacher Appreciation Day! Hope you get better Riya! Riya, you will also miss jump-a-thon..
Oh no riya come back don't leave us!!!!!!!
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Get well soon and happy teacher appreciation day!
Hi guys! I am laying in bed with a massive headache and a cold. Don't even ask about what just happened but don't worry I will go to school tomorrow. Happy teacher appreciation day!
Happy Teacher Appreciation Day!!! :)
My b. club group -
What are we doing for our skill focus tomorrow?
Read until the end of chapter 45 (4 chapters)...
Feel better Riya and Jacqueline!
Are these good first two paragraphs?:
Macaroni and cheese attracts all taste buds, apples serve as the best fruit, and lemonade conquers drinks, meaning no lunch could compare to Harry Gore’s. No life could compare to Harry Gore’s. An only child, the family gem naturally got what he wanted, yet Harry was more persuasive than most of these. Examples included getting a laptop at age seven, receiving dessert every day, and today. The day that he found himself having a picnic in his family speed boat on Lake Superior.
***
“Finally,” Samir Kim’s relieved words split the silence at the Kim Mansion in Thunder Bay, Ontario. “Nesirrah Ekip setelpmoc sih retsam nalp!” Samir screamed. “Now I will rule Canada! No one makes fun of Martians or their language from this point onwards!” Nessirah Ekip, or Samir Kim being his taken name, readied himself for the next four hours.
Mr. Buxton didnt you say we didnt have to do the SL.5?
George those are pretty good but the second one is kinda confusing.
This is my final for my first paragraph please comment:)
part 2 of Chapter 1
On a scorching hot summer morning an unusual smell of sulfur blew right past Kurter’s nose but Kurter ignored it as he was watching his favorite show Terrance and Phillip with his dad. Who he admired greatly, and he didn’t have anyone around all the time he was an only child living an ok life with his parents but his life is about to change.
Suddenly out of the blue paratroopers parachuted down from the sky and disturbed this wonderful morning, World war 3 had started. The paratroopers were approaching their house when Kurter heard a scream come from upstairs.
“Greg go outside and see what those people want!”
ohhh it was Kurter’s mom Lisa, Greg Kurter’s dad approached the paratroopers outside slowly
“Yesssss...what do you want”
but he didn’t get a response he only got arrested and taken away by the paratroopers, probably to a reeducation camp but Kurter did not know.
Kurter ran up the cracked wooden stairs and shouted
“Nooooooo, mom dad got arrested and there are paratroopers shooting at our house!”
“What, lets get out of here, hop in the car and we will drive out to the mountain let’s gooo!”
Kurter and his mom scrambled for the car frantically with gunshots blaring in their ears. When they reached the black Hummer they drove off as fast as they could and headed for the convenience store first, then they would head for the mountains where they would
spend their time putting together a rebellion and camp. well that’s until the war is over and below the mountain is where the mighty God Scrap lives.
hey is the study link optional
nick- i suggest to just do it if you're not sure unless someone told you otherwise
how do you calculate a verb ratio?
how do you calculate a verb ratio?
This is my final for my first paragraph please comment:)
part 2 of Chapter 1
On a scorching hot summer morning an unusual smell of sulfur blew right past Kurter’s nose but Kurter ignored it as he was watching his favorite show Terrance and Phillip with his dad. Who he admired greatly, and he didn’t have anyone around all the time he was an only child living an ok life with his parents but his life is about to change.
Suddenly out of the blue paratroopers parachuted down from the sky and disturbed this wonderful morning, World war 3 had started. The paratroopers were approaching their house when Kurter heard a scream come from upstairs.
“Greg go outside and see what those people want!”
ohhh it was Kurter’s mom Lisa, Greg Kurter’s dad approached the paratroopers outside slowly
“Yesssss...what do you want”
but he didn’t get a response he only got arrested and taken away by the paratroopers, probably to a reeducation camp but Kurter did not know.
Kurter ran up the cracked wooden stairs and shouted
“Nooooooo, mom dad got arrested and there are paratroopers shooting at our house!”
“What, lets get out of here, hop in the car and we will drive out to the mountain let’s gooo!”
Kurter and his mom scrambled for the car frantically with gunshots blaring in their ears. When they reached the black Hummer they drove off as fast as they could and headed for the convenience store first, then they would head for the mountains where they would
spend their time putting together a rebellion and camp. well that’s until the war is over and below the mountain is where the mighty God Scrap lives.
Harrisen, you have some comma, capitalization, and fragment errors, but otherwise your piece is good!
Mr.Buxton the study link makes no sense because u said to use something that won't soak up water for the displacement experiment on the study link but the only answer for the question why do you think you were able to fit the cotton into the glass without the water overflowing...
The answer could maybe only be every time the cotton was put in, it saoked up a little water.... How do we answer that question with a object that doesn't soak up anything?
don't do study link... i meant to take that off the website
Harrsien - make sure you punctuate your dialogue correctly.
riya - take care ... work on that story
ohhh.... okay.
Who admired greatly shouldn't start the sentence, Harrisen. Also, try showing the admiration.
From the way I see it, the kid is groaning about the people shooting at their house and his dad being arrested the way a kid would groan about h/w.
Don't use well if you are not doing dialogue.
not "Yessssss......". It would be either "Yessss!!!" To show enthusiasm or exasperation or "Yes..." To show hesitation.
It's kind of feeling like the last part goes something like this:
"Hey, you know the mighty God Scrap lives under this mountain?"
"Yeah, cool, let's go grab some pizza!"
Make sure your commas are correct
Try to get rid of as many linking verbs as you can. Try to use transitive instead.
Like Maya said, you need to go back and edit for commas and sentence fluency.
Try to take more time in explaining things. Just because you have a limit of 4 pages doesn't mean you should only use one.
Nice story!
Book club - where are we reading to?.
what are we focusing on?
I'd say learning curve/ setting of fantasy.
Don't think we should really focus on the element of fantasy.
help anyone! i am writing the scene where the main character is getting struck by lightning and i dont just want to say "I got struck by lightning. " (my story is 1st person) so any suggestions? please!
Well, Anisha, I think Harrisen meant to put yes.......... because of how the person says it.
Sabine-
" Someone please help me! I have been electrocuted from the sky!"
that's good alex. but it won't work becuase the moment when she gets shocked everything goes black and then she wakes up in New York City. but good idea and thanks for the help.
Ok so this is what I thought of. Suggestions?
I went outside to walk Toto. I sensed some mint, and I guess Toto did too, because she started sniffing the air at the exact same time as me. Halfway into our walk, Toto stopped dead in her tracks.
“What is it, sweetie?” I asked in a sweet voice. She shivered, and as it started to get dark, she started barking and whimpering. All of a sudden, it started to downpour. I screamed and looked behind me. Home was atleast a 1 minute walk away. I can’t walk in the rain for a minute. I’ll get wet! I stood there pondering on whether to run home or to find a tree to stay under while I wait for the rain to calm down. After a couple of seconds, lightining started striking.
“Okay, now I’m definetely not going back!” I whined. Suddenly, I heard evil laughing. I turned around to the castle to find Jessie peering out of the window.
“How’re you doing, Rose?” She shouted in giggles.
“What did I tell you about calling me Rose?" I screamed at her, "I am not kidding anymore. I don’t want you to ever, EVER-”
I was interrupted by a shock, a very VERY electrical one. The last thing I heard was, “Good luck in New York!”
Can someone please comment on my piece of work:?
Macaroni and cheese attracts all taste buds, apples serve as the best fruit, and lemonade conquers drinks, meaning no lunch could compare to Harry Gore’s. No life could compare to Harry Gore’s. An only child, the family gem naturally got what he wanted, yet Harry was more persuasive than most of these. Examples included getting a laptop at age seven, receiving dessert every day, and today. The day that he found himself having a picnic in his family speed boat on Lake Superior.
***
“Finally,” Samir Kim’s relieved words split the silence at the Kim Mansion in Thunder Bay, Ontario. “Nesirrah Ekip setelpmoc sih retsam nalp!” Samir screamed. “Now I will rule Canada! No one makes fun of Martians or their language from this point onwards!” Nessirah Ekip, or Samir Kim being his taken name, readied himself for the next four hours.
This is a scene in my story, it's quite short, but I want to know any ways I can improve upon it!
“The plan is for everyone to meet outside the Adetti mansion at seven, but if you come late it’s fine.” Camilla sighed as she hung up the phone with the last of the many households in Controlla. Finally, she could acquire the single thing she desired: rest.
As she collapsed onto her bed, Camilla prayed that the upcoming events would work out just as it did in the prototyped plan she and Sofia had devised.
I like how you took that idea and made it into what it is now, Sabine! I really like it...
Could somebody help me? What's the word that would fit in the blank spot?
“Get out of my way losers," _________
Cyrilla.
Do we need anything for the jump-a-thon tomorrow?
No Maddy...
snapped?
oh yeah! That's a good word thank you Anisha! ;-)
Thank you!!!!!
Anisha that helped alot!!!!
Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End
One more leaf hit the ground till there was no more to fall. Cold air swatted the warmth away. 10 degrees Celsius felt like -2 as fall was set to sleep. Another wave crashed into the bay turning the warm summer sand into frozen winter rocks. Even a burning hot fire inside a nice wooden house was calmed down by the wild raging wind. Trees weren’t dancing with the wind, they were blown by the wind.
Matt, a 12 year old small for his age, wondered as he always did. Was Resurrection Bay that bad after all? Summers were good but couldn’t cancel out the freezing winters and even the falls. “Summer is too short,” he muttered. Matt crawled out of his comfy bed and stumbled towards the dining table.
Jake, few years older than Matt, was unlike him in many ways. Jake felt that Matt should stay in the present and in this world. Jake was freezing too, but no sign of it was shown on his body language. He wasn’t sleepy and dragging himself. Walking towards the kitchen, he wondered for a while.
“What’s up with Nick?” Jake asked curiously.
“Don’t know. Think he’s still sleeping.” Matt replied with some doubt.
The day that Nick had always hated had come. Tiredness with a smidgen of sickness filled his skinny body. He rolled out of his bed, muttering something he couldn’t even understand. “10 years and living a terrible life” He murmured.
“C’mon sleepy-head, wake up!” Jake yelled from the living room as Nick stepped out of his relatively small room compared to his other brothers, hearing another one of those boring news reports his brother was watching.
“Really Jake! No one wants to ruin the morning with the boring news!” Matt exclaimed.
“This isn’t boring! Look watch!”
Matt sighed. “Fine...”
“Satellite WMD-316 has just been launched into space! The owner of it, John Bradshaw Layfield, says that this has been made with some toxic chemicals allowing it to go further into space! ‘It will break the records’ Layfield said.” Matt switched off the TV.
Jake looked at Matt the way he normally looked at Matt when Jake wasn’t so pleased with him.
“Hey! That looked pretty epic actually!” Nick admitted.
“See! Not the only one!” Jake proved to Matt
“Okay! Now don’t cry and eat your breakfast people!” Matt announced.
Matt always ruined the mornings in Nick’s perspective. First hogging all the pancakes on the breakfast table after interrupting a pretty cool report on that really weird looking satelite. Then running onto the beach before anyone else. By the time he had finished his food, Matt was already relaxing on the beach. Nick and Jake walked together on the beach having a verbal altercation on who’ll be the soloist the game the brothers had invented called sand forts. They made a fort for each team next to the water and try to see which was can hold the longest. Being the soloist wasn’t a good thing in this game. Sadly, Nick wouldn’t be playing sand forts as they had a tougher dilemma laid ahead for them.
Matt felt like that he beat everyone in everything. Fast-eater, fast-swimmer, fast-runner, even fast-sleeper. Jumping into the ‘almost’ normal water lightened up the day with a splash! The water was nice and cold and the waves were crashing into the bay. It seemed like paradise, but the water was a little strange. A little greenish unlike the normal blue. Matt’s stomach went inside-out. Matt’s body jumped out of the unusual water. Matt’s mind took some damage, and so had the rest of his body. Shock took over his body. Weakness had won the battle too. Matt could blurt one last word, “HELP!” The world went blank. Matt’s mind went blank.
My 1st chapter
Do we have to use Comic Sans Mr.Buxton. In my opinion, it looks really bad. Can we use Times New Roman or Arial
Not that it's bad it's just a casual font for my intense story
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