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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Mentor Text - U.S. Terrain

Enjoy reading the paper written by Thomas on U.S. terrain. Why did I choose to put this paper on  the blog? comments encouraged

As the Smith family piles into their car, they head out to embark on an exciting adventure to national parks, mountain ranges, and coastlines all across the U.S. To begin with, the impressive terrain across the U.S. is both vast and varied. A multitude of tourists’ favorite national parks are right here in the U.S. From Big Bend to Yellow Stone and Glacier national park, these are some of the largest outdoor attractions in the U.S. Furthermore, Yellowstone national park, located in Colorado, is filled with bubbling hot springs and spitting geysers. Big Bend is located in the Southwest, yet it is on the boarder of Mexico and the U.S. A vast amount of  picturesque mountain ranges are spread across the United States. Stretching across the Southeast region is the Appalachian Mountains. The Rocky Mountains, located in the Southwest and West, crosses two regions. In these two mountain ranges is where outdoor adventurers might find the best skiing in the nation. The U.S. is outlined with a numerous amount of coastlines. Beaches of Los Angeles and Florida are some of the most popular destinations in the U.S. The latter was recently affected by an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. The oil spill kept an extremely large amount of people from coming to the coastlines that were affected, but now that the spill is clogged, so people are starting to swarm in again. From national parks to coastlines and mountain ranges these fantastic features make the U.S. a popular destination. After a long day of breathtaking sightseeing, the Smith family parks their car and they stagger into the hotel to take a break and sleep for the night.  
  • Words in black are ones I added to avoid word repetition
  • Tomorrow, we will work on effective restate sentences
Next Tuesday, you will write an essay in class under exam conditions as part of your Lesson 3-5 Test.

16 comments:

martha said...

Thomas did a very good job with his piece of writing.

Gauruv Singh said...

Great Job Thomas! I really liked that you had facts along with opinions. It flowed well, and it had a unique touch as it talked about a family traveling all around the U.S.It was also very creative as you put recent events of oil spill into it!

kennedy said...

Kennedy- Thomas you really hit tall of the objectives perfectly on this piece of writing. also you were very punctillious with you discriptions about things.

Lilly said...

I agree with Martha Wright and Gauruv Thomas did a great job with his piece of writing. I like how he used lots of fun and interesting facts!!!!

Lilly said...

is the only homework we have studying?

martha said...

thank you lilly

martha said...

and yes our only homework is studying

martha said...
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Unknown said...
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Anonymous said...
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Unknown said...

+1 for people who commented. Nice vocabulary word usage Kennedy

Catie Nelson said...

Thomas,
Your peice of writing was very specific on details in you P3s and included lots of what we are studying. You met the objective perftectly.

Anonymous said...

Thomas, your piece of writing is awesome!!! you had very good description throughout the writing. Great Job!!! :)

Thomas Layton said...

Thank you all!

Liza said...

I think thomas did a good job because he used interesting p2s

Unknown said...

I love to read about your experiences! You write beautifully about this. gym buxton !!! I have enjoyed reading your articles. They are very well written. It looks like you spend a large amount of time and effort in writing the blog. I am appreciating your effort.

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