Monday Night's H/W -
DESCRIPTIVE WRITING DUE DATE POSTPONED UNTIL TUESDAY NOVEMBER 2nd
- Make sure you use the proof reading guide (given in class Monday) to improve your sentence construction. Have you truly 'painted a picture' with the words you chose?
- Do your best to integrate ideas/words from the 'word bank' booklet.
- Class Halloween party is Tuesday afternoon 2:20pm (both classes)
Mentor Text - Descriptive Writing
Home
The wind whistled in my ear as an angry chill crawled up my spine. Rain and sleet blocked my way. Each nervous step forward brought me closer to my destination. I could almost taste my fear. Our old, oak tree guarded the concrete path obediently. Its twisted branches and wet drooping leaves seemed to create a welcoming archway. A lone branch stroked my cheek as I darted underneath; reassurance perhaps? I pondered. Suddenly, even more familiar sights, comforting sounds, and calming smells bombarded my senses. I had made it. Just a few more precious steps I calculated. With two impressive strides and an enthusiastic leap I found some cover from the tormenting downpour. A long, green drape was pulled to one side, and two, tiny, warm smiles beckoned me forward. My heart pounded with joy. They were home, and they were safe.
Tuesday's Class - In Class Essay Writing
You will be required to write an in class essay on the topic 'conservation'. You will be able to use any notes we covered in class on the three Rs related to Recycle City. In addition, you will be able to ue any other notes/power plans you create.(e.g. Remember the H/Wnotes you took on how organizations can better conseve their resources?) The in class writing question will be very specific. It is VITAL that you adapt any information/notes you bring in and relate them specifically to the question you are given on Tuesday. i.e. You cannot just write down everything you know about conservation; instead, you have to make the question given is being answered. No H/W Tuesday night
Enjoy your break and be safe when trick or treating next weekend
18 comments:
This trimester most everything changed. To learning about power plans, and doing the scientific method, i have learned so much this trimester and i wished it never ended. Thanks Mr. Buxton for teaching us better ways to be great writers i have definitely learned SO much more! Also thanks Mrs. Grahmn for giving us the opurtunity to do cool expierents and learning oceans. Can't wait for the new writing skills we learn next trimester~Thanks to Mr. Buxton and Mrs Grahmn
i think this trimester we learned a lot of fun cool writing skills!!!! thank you Mr. Buxton for teaching us lots of great techniques
Mr. Buxton thank you for teaching me how to make my writing engageing
From decoding, to power plans, and prepositional phrases, this trimester has been a lot of fun
mr buxton does this piece of writing sound ok? its my descriptive! ~ Crisp fall leaves fall onto the ground hitting the hard, cold, gray, gravel. Views of enormous mountains follow us each step we take since it is the Smoky Mountains. Standing beside me, Mom, Katie and Sarah walk on. Each little step we take a great feeling flowed in me to be standing right next to my family, safe. Newly fallen leaves accompanied us as we walk although the red, orange, and green leaves fell from the big, blue, clear less sky. Huge round rocks, and tall, knobbed trees towered around us as we took frequent slow steps. Birds chirped to the sounds of music we could just take in, along with large black and yellow butterflies within the crisp air. Sweet smells of dandelions and sharp grass pointing like swords roamed around us as we took the scent in with each of our swift breaths. Leaves whistled around us, yet still making me fell warm inside as we chatted away. Mom, Katie, and Sarah stood around me, constructing my day to be even better with every important word flowing out of their calm quiet mouths. Walking down the infinite trail with my Nike tennis shoes I could feel everything to rough bumpy gray gravel, and soft leaves rustling beneath my feet. At this moment it time you could just hear the audible squeaks of squirrels, to scared of showing their warm fuzzy faces. Farther down the trail together we walked, shoulder- to- shoulder, arm by arm. Looking up at each sister of mine a feeling of joy filled inside me because I knew an amazing family would always be beside me.
You are repeating too many words in sentences or close sentneces.
who is 'we'
how many 1 or 2 syllable words are you using?
how many times can you count the word leaf/leaves? we
you?
You don't always need to use prouns in every sentence
It reads like you are tying 'too hard' to be descriptive. It should be more natural.
Think about the figurative journey - Where does it begin/end?
e.g. - the beginning and end of a thought or the beginnig and end of
passing glance at something...
I can see you are trying hard with you sentence fluency and your advanced subjects :)
Needs work...
mr. Buxton thanks for giving me tips but how do we tell a story if its just sposed to be a moment in time?
Mr. Buxton here is my new version! I used the words from the mac therasus just to let you know i hope its a bit better and i still need to find the yous~ Crisp fall leaves flutter down laying upon the hard, cold, gray, gravel. Sights of enormous mountains are trailing behind everyone’s footprint since it is the Smoky Mountains. Standing beside my blue shirt, Mom, Katie and Sarah walk onward. Every single little footprint family members of mine mark within the darkest of dirt makes amazing feelings flows inside my thoughts. Every step taken made me feel closer to our destination. Newly layered stones accompanied family members of mine although the enormous, sparkling, clear less sky follows above us. Massive round boulders, and tall, knobbed trees towered around us while my family extracts frequent unhurried steps. Birds chirped to graceful sounds of music we could just lay hold of, in addition to large black yellow butterflies together flying through the crisp breeze. Go on.. Go on… so far it seems as if the evergreens murmured the words onto my families’ cold faces. Fragrant smells of yellow dandelions and sharp grass pointing like swords, roamed around us as we took the aroma into our mouths with each of our swift breaths. Leaves whistled around everyone, yet nevertheless forming a feeling of warmth inside owing to the fact we chatted away. Mom, Katie, and Sarah stood on every side of me, constructing my evening to be even better in addition to every important statement blooming out of their tranquil, soft-spoken mouths. Strolling downward the infinite trail escorted with my Nike tennis shoes I could detect everything to scratchy bumpy gray gravel, and soft leaves rustling beneath my feet. During this moment in time, audible squeaks of squirrels were just made out to scared of showing their warm fuzzy faces. Farther through the trail together we walked, shoulder- to- shoulder, arm-by-arm. Finally we get to the end of our hike with all the plants whispering done… done… done…. Looking up at each sister of mine, a feeling of joy filled inside me because I knew an amazing family would always be there beside me.
Family... used too often
Too many sentences begin with nouns
What about infintives, participles and prep. phrases?
still get rid of the 'you'
A number of comma errors relating to opening phrases or dependent clauses
IT's GETTING BETTER!!!!
okay! thanks mr buxton!
Mr. Buxton are parents allowed to fix grammer if you want them to?
This trimester was very fun and I learned a lot. From learning the Socratic Method on the first day of school, to doing power plans, and learning about all the types of Sentences, Mr. Buxton has taught me a lot about writing, grammar, and Social Studies. Not only did I learn from Mr.Buxton, but also I learned from Ms. Graham the basic elements of Science. From the scientific method, to a whole lot of experiments, and doing the "Ocean Postcards", science has been a lot of fun this year. Art, Music, and P.E have also made his trimester very interesting. Overall, this trimester was amazing!
+1 for all statements on 1st trimester.
I really like the socratic method. It is an interesting way to answer a question.
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